This week, EMF starts running out of good images to put in his articles! Whatever shall we do?
…oh yeah, and we see what happens when LittlePip goes to rehab. That too.
EMF falls out with Equestria, part 14: No, No, No (A.K.A. The Weekend Reader: Darn It, I Can’t Really Make A Pokémon Movie Joke Here)
- EMF Scootaloo
Do you know my pain? I don’t think you know my pain. Why don’t you know my pain? Well, I’ll tell you why you don’t know my pain.
I’M RUNNING OUT OF IMAGES.
That is to say, I’m running out of Fallout Equestria fan art to use at the starts of my articles. It’s pretty terrible, I know. What am I supposed to do when I run out? Draw my own? Substitute it all for Project Horizons fan art? Have a picture of Blackjack being all cybernetic-limbs-I-never-asked-for-this up at the top before going on about adventures in the wherever-the-fanfic-goes-next?
…speaking of Project Horizons, you’re probably wondering where Rocktavia went with his review. Well, the fact of the matter is that I have as much idea as you guys. There’s a draft for the second chapter here that’s been up since the 11th of June. It has music and a little ‘Continue from last save?’ dialogue and this line right here:
Much like the original Fallout Equestria, Project Horizons’ sec
I guess we’ll never know what Project Horizons’ sec was. At least until he gets off his lazy backside and does something. Or I complete the vanilla fanfic. Whichever comes first.
PREVIOUSLY ON FALLOUT: EQUESTRIA…
We got to experience third-hoof the decline of the friendship nexus encompassing the Mane 6.
LittlePip gained the ability to call upon the seaponies.
Calamity was Calamity.
Scootaloo’s words echoed.
There was a time and place for everything. But not now.
Velvet Remedy was best pony.
But war refused to change.
The fanfic was still gory.
LittlePip regains consciousness for the fiftieth time this fanfic and finds herself strapped to a medical table. For a second she thinks that eeeeeeevil ghoul doctor’s come back from the dead and Velvet Remedy decided to aid him for whatever reason, but she eventually realises that she’s not in the Red Racer factory.
And then she sees Calamity and feels 2x betrayal combo.
Actually, Calamity disapproves of the way Velvet Remedy handled the situation. Apparently, they’d talked about doing things the right way, and this wasn’t it. Velvet retorts by saying that her hoof was forced, to which Calamity replies in shock that LittlePip was able to force anything without being able to walk straight.
Then our protagonist blacks out.
When she wakes up again, she finds that the Mint-al-induced haze has cleared and she can now think perfectly fine. She still feels betrayed, though, stating that she would’ve had herself treated when she had less pressing matters to attend to blah blah blah blah lying in my skin these wounds they just got healed.
A doctor trots up and introduces himself as Doctor Helpinghoof of the Helpinghoof Clinic. LittlePip responds by saying that, in her humblest opinion, his name is stupid. Surprisingly enough, he agrees, but says he named himself after the clinic.
LittlePip looks up at the ceiling and expresses frustration at the fact that she’s running out of friends who haven’t shot her. Well, hey, there’s always Homage! Little Miss Paragon-I’m-just-going-to-sit-here-and-provide-moral-support wouldn’t shoot her, right?
So apparently the doctor cured everything, and I mean everything. Radiation exposure, manticore poisoning, everything. And also everything from Velvet Remedy and Calamity too. Not Steelhooves, though, because he’s a ghoul and stuff.
The conversation progresses and the doctor tells LittlePip to stay clear of anything remotely addictive because she has a family history of being really good at getting addicted to stuff. Her mother was an alcoholic.
Guess who told him that?
Then LittlePip remembers something. She doesn’t know how long she’s been out for. She checks her PipBuck, but then remembers that it’s dead anyway, so she turns to the doctor and asks him about Monterey Jack (I’m going to spell his name right for once).
He was executed two hours ago.
…maybe Velvet Remedy…
Maybe she didn’t do as well as she was trying to. Maybe she didn’t think everything through. In saving one life, she destroyed multiple more. Sweet, kind, caring Velvet Remedy orphaned children, probably without twenty years between them, who will now have to go out into the atomic wasteland to seek a living. Either that or be kicked out by security for not being rich enough. Once they’re out there, they’ll be very hard-pressed to survive because they grew up in such a different environment. If they don’t wander over to a band of slavers without knowing better and get sold into lives of poverty and mistreatment, they’ll be eaten alive by the bloodwings that stalk the night, or burned alive by a balefire phoenix, or…
The wasteland changes ponies. In all likelihood, this is just the start.
Velvet Remedy is the first to visit LittlePip. LittlePip treats her to a stern telling-off and almost pushes her to tears. Yeah, whatever, Velvet. Calamity might have killed a child, but he did it to protect somepony less deranged who would actually go on to save his comrade. You, on the other hand, have essentially killed at least two children (I can’t remember if a number was stated, but the plural was used) who did NOTHING. WRONG. You deserve this. In fact, this is the least you deserve. You should-
…hold on. LittlePip’s in serious business mode. Is she…?
So LittlePip tells Velvet Remedy to send for Steelhooves, her saddlebags and her utility barding so that she can call upon the seaponies and get them to take the children to Shattered Hoof and Gawd in order for them to live in relative safety but also tells Velvet Remedy that she’s in charge of persuading them to go which is punishing her for screwing up at the same time! Genius! Congratulations, LittlePip, you’ve actually done something worthwhile!
Well, there was that time when she told Velvet Remedy that she didn’t get to be that evil.
And the part where she asked Homage about mares who might like mares.
And the… you know what? Never mind. LittlePip does a lot of worthwhile things.
Calamity comes in to apologise to LittlePip. LittlePip says “oh no, no need for you to apologise, Velvet Remedy is a butt”. Calamity reminds her that he was the one who gave her the Mint-als in the first place, which leads into LittlePip’s Curses Corner!
And then she just jumps out of bed and hugs him. Here, extract time.
I pushed myself from the medical bed and threw my forehooves around Calamity, nuzzling against his neck. I had no words, no idea what to say. But I hoped that if I hugged him long enough, he’d understand how forgiven he was, and how sorry I was.
OH MY JESUS CELESTIA THAT’S JUST SO
LittlePip converses with Steelhooves while she repairs her PipBuck. She realises she’s been neglecting his feelings in favour of those of her other two companions, so she asks him about Four Stars and the betrayal of the Steel Rangers there. He says he’s dealing with it. Regardless, LittlePip says she’s there for him if he ever needs to talk. Watch, in a few chapters, it’s going to be all like [SOMETHING SEEMS TO BE BOTHERING STEELHOOVES].
Yeah, I’ve made that joke before.
When LittlePip’s repaired her PipBuck and successfully called upon the seaponies, she turns to Steelhooves and asks him if he’s sure he doesn’t need any help. He responds by saying that LittlePip is the kind of mare who makes him wish he was a better pony, and sooner or later she’s going to learn that he’s not a better pony.
…maybe I wasn’t too wrong with my crackpot ship a couple of chapters ago. SteelPip OTP!
He walks out.
LittlePip bursts into Her Tenpenny Tower Suite and asks Calamity where Steelhooves is. Something just dawned on her. Calamity doesn’t know, but the last time he saw him he was talking to Chief Grim Star.
LittlePip runs for the basement.
When she gets there, the door’s open. She goes through; maybe it isn’t too late.
She finally finds Steelhooves with his hoof inches from the control panel to let the ghouls into Tenpony Tower. She tells him not to do it, but apparently he wasn’t going to let them in anyway, so all that was for nothing. In fact, he even permanently locked the door somehow! Well done, Steelhooves!
He trots past LittlePip, stating that she doesn’t know him.
LittlePip thinks this over and decides it’s the truth.
There’s a thud on the glass.
Chief Grim Star is behind it.
LittlePip catches one glimpse of his face, contorted in shock and horror, just before the zombie ponies eat him alive.
Welp, looks like it’s analysis time again! Yay.
What? Since when?
Characters: Not a chapter goes by without some kind of new development with a character. It’s impressive, to say the least.
LittlePip: LittlePip is Jesus. She saves.
AND SHE’S SO ADORABLE I JUST WANT TO HUG HER AND SNUGGLE HER AND JUST AAAAAAAAAAAA SHE’S SO CUUUUUUUUUTE
Calamity: Calamity seems to have a side to him that’s kinda like Velvet Remedy only more masculine. I think I can see why they got paired up now.
Velvet Remedy: I’d still hug her. Not as much as LittlePip right now, not nearly as much, but I would.
SteelHooves: Ghouls 1, Cretins 0.
Spelling and Grammar: I saw a couple of minor grammatical mistakes. Good enough, though.
Vocabulary: Still going strong. I’m writing something at the moment, and I’m sure it’s vocabulary isn’t going to come anywhere near Fallout Equestria’s. I don’t think I’m worthy enough to review this.
Well, I guess THAT’S how Kkat was going to top it. Steelhooves losing karma. Or gaining karma. Personally, I’d say no karma change. I guess.
Next week, more derring-do.
Story: ‘Fallout Equestria’
Genres: Grimdark, Crossover, Adventure, Legendary (so sayeth Equestria Daily)
Length: 47 Chapters, about 700,000 Words (9th longest work of fiction written in English or something)