The Weekend Reader – November 2nd, 2013

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This week, EMF explains why there was no Weekend Reader last week! Oh, and more Fallout Equestria.

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EMF falls out with Equestria, part 16: LittlePip Does Some More Stuff (A.K.A. The Weekend Reader The Movie: Rocktavia and the Legend Awakened)
- EMF Scootaloo

The reason there was no Weekend Reader last week was because I felt terrible. It went away fairly quickly, but it was unpleasant and I just wanted to rest. It was like I was coming down with the flu, but I didn’t come down with the flu. I don’t know what gave.

Um… that’s all I have to say, really. Unless you want me to go on about Pokémon again, but let’s be honest, lush plains with happy mutant animal things are not what you came here to see. You came here to see bleak wastelands with unhappy mutant animal things. And I’m going to deliver!

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PREVIOUSLY ON FALLOUT: EQUESTRIA…

SteelHooves did a surprisingly good job of dodging flak.
EVERYBODY BETRAYED ME I FED UP WITH THIS WORLD
Rocky eating montage! Du-duuuu-duuuuu…
In a flashback, Homage’s friend didn’t press E fast enough.
SECKSZ
SEW MACH SECKSZ
LittlePip became a bigger badass than Calamity for the first time since Chapter 7.
War remained the same.
The fanfic was still gory.

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We cut to the middle of the night wherein LittlePip sits up suddenly because she saw a flash outside the window. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop to save every one of them, though that was probably because it’d be a really stupid ending if it did. Homage tells her it’s probably a balefire phoenix and then they both drift off again.

Homage cooks breakfast because she’s the kind of mare who cooks breakfast and I’m now imagining her with an apron on frying something over a cooker though there probably aren’t any aprons available in the wasteland so that’s a pretty silly thing to be imagining. She also goes and talks up LittlePip as the greatest thing since sliced bread again because that’s what she does she’s HOMAGE GUYS. HOMAGE IS HOMAGE. IF HOMAGE WASN’T HOMAGE SHE WOULDN’T BE CALLED HOMAGE. SHE’D PROBABLY BE VINYL SCRATCH OR SOMETHING.

So LittlePip remembers that she has to ask her love interest about the Black Opal because Watcher told her to. Homage agrees to give her it to her in exchange for completing a sidequest. LittlePip is heading for Fillydelphia anyway (to take down John Henry Eden though I don’t think he’s a computer in this), but Homage wants her to help her gain access to the Fillydelphia tower so that she can use the cameras to give the wasteland the truth, no matter how bad it hurts.

LittlePip agrees, obviously.

She acquires a Pinkie Pie statuette and puts it with her Twilight statuette because it ‘feels right’.

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Then she gets the Alien Blaster.

I’m not kidding. We’re only halfway through this story and she already has the Alien Blaster.

Well, at least we know the next few chapters are just going to be LittlePip curbstomping everything until she runs out of ammo and Calamity has to save her but she blacks out and wakes up with Velvet Remedy tending to her wounds!

Also Homage goes on about how the zebras cringe from the sky because they believe in aliens. But god damnit, LITTLEPIP JUST GOT THE ONE-SHOT-KILLS-EVERYTHING GUN.

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So LittlePip decides to look into the Black Opal before she takes it to Watcher because curiosity always ends up killing the Pip. In it, the Mane 6 (minus Rainbow Dash, for some reason) are going somewhere. But Pip isn’t any of them. Oh no. Pip gets to be Spike and stare at Rarity all day.

So after a lot of staring at Rarity, we see Rainbow Dash leap out from behind some curtains in some scorpion armour stuff and Fluttershy absolutely freak. Rainbow Dash declares the armour to be ‘cool’.

And LittlePip decides she never wants to be a dragon again.

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LittlePip leaves Tenpony Tower. Steelhooves approaches her and they talk for a bit about Watcher. Apparently Steelhooves knows Watcher; Watcher goes around setting good ponies on the path to friendship. And most of the time they subsequently die, because heck, this is the Equestrian Wasteland. Not happy-happy-fun-time-Ponyville-Cutie-Mark-Crusaders-Go-Crusading fare.

Watcher shows up and asks LittlePip to put the Black Opal in the compartment that eyebots have for batteries.

To every reader’s surprise, she says no. She says that she’s only giving it to Watcher in person. She has a short epic moment before Watcher backs down and updates her PipBuck. Unfortunately, the location is weeks away. Also, they have to walk. So they walk.

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Wait, never mind, no they don’t. They have the Skyranger! Calamity finishes fixing it up and it takes all of five seconds for Velvet Remedy to talk about decorating it. Nobody’s really enthusiastic about that idea except her. Well, what is there to decorate it with? You don’t even have aprons.

And then suddenly a balefire phoenix appears and decides to land on the seat next to Velvet Remedy. Needless to say, Velvet pulls a Rarity.

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*timeskip of one day goes here*

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So Velvet Remedy decides to call her new pet phoenix Pyrelight, causing me to change the image for this edition because I forgot it was this chapter. Also, she keeps going into that one Fluttershy memory orb. Steelhooves interjects with his amazing knowledge of all things Mane 6 by explaining that Rainbow Dash wanted to win the war, Applejack wanted to protect other ponies and Twilight wanted to please the princesses. But Fluttershy, being Fluttershy, just wanted the war to end. The memory orb contained the time she decided to throw her entire ministry into finding a way to end the war.

Her idea was good, in theory. She ended up creating a weapon so devastating, so horrifyingly powerful, that hopefully neither side would want to continue the war in fear that one side would use the weapon against the other. Maybe create a cold war, but stop innocent lives from ending.

She made a miscalculation that shaped the history of Equestria.

Fluttershy, in her quest for peace, created the Equestrian wasteland.

There is no music.

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So they go above the clouds and oh hey I have music for this.

Did I ever tell you guys how amazing the music for Legends of Equestria is? Because it’s pretty amazing.

So they go above the clouds and LittlePip gets an overwhelming sense of vertigo from looking up. So she looks down instead, and locates an audio recorder. The team take a detour to go get it and then continue their ascent.

However, LittlePip has just discovered the name of Watcher’s humble abode.

‘Dragon Cave’.

So there’s someone in Dragon Cave who wants a memory orb relating to the Mane 6? I wonder…

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They enter the cave and Velvet Remedy channels Admiral Ackbar and suggests that Watcher is just sending them here to be eaten and that the whole situation is, in fact, a trap. LittlePip takes point and advances into the cave, but she doesn’t get far before something moves in the darkness.

A dragon pops his head out of the gloom and introduces himself as Spike.

GEE I TOTALLY DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING

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So after that plot twist, it’s that time again! Yes, that time. No, not hammer time, you idiot. Analysis time.

Plot: I read it for this Whoa, Jesus! How much more exciting can this get? I mean, balefire phoenixes? Finally leaving the safety of Tenpony? Starting towards Fillydelphia? Spike?

Characters: I think this was the part where Kkat rightly decided to move our heroes out of Tenpony before it got too stale, so there wasn’t too much here. What there was was good, though.

LittlePip: This is the part of the story where LittlePip decides she’s a strong grey mare who don’t need no stallion! Good on you, LittlePip!

Calamity: What were you doing this whole time that wasn’t repairing the Skyranger? (Yes, I know it’s the Sky Bandit…) For that matter, why wasn’t Velvet Remedy doing anything of use either? I doubt you two were just twiddling your non-existent thumbs that whole time…

Velvet Remedy: Now, Velvet, my dear, I cannot express my delight!~
It’s abundantly clear,
That somewhere out here,
Is the pet that will suit you just right!~

SteelHooves: He was the sole witness to Grim Star’s death. He had an excuse. Calamity and Velvet Remedy did not have excuses. There’s something fishy going on here…

Homage: Where are the aprons? No, seriously, where are the aprons? Someone draw Homage in an apron. It needs to happen. It. Needs. To happen!

Spelling and Grammar: Definitely passable. One mistake today.

Vocabulary:

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Okay, now I just want to start reading this in my spare time again. I can now recall why I was so hooked. I’m only about a chapter ahead of the Reader at this point.

Story: ‘Fallout Equestria’
Author: Kkat
Genres: Grimdark, Crossover, Adventure, Legendary (so sayeth Equestria Daily)
Status: Complete
Length: 47 Chapters, about 700,000 Words (9th longest work of fiction written in English or something)
Link: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/04/story-fallout-equestria.html

Addendum:

update

2 Comments
  1. Great to see you back and good to hear you’re feeling better. ^.^

    Small note on the chapter: Homage only shows Littlepip that weapon. She doesn’t give it to Littlepip. Homage still has it.

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